UNFAILING LOVE

Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others]. I Peter 4:8(Amplified Bible)

In the wee hours of this morning I was meditating on the unfailing love of God. I have never liked the phrase unconditional love. It presents a kind of mind set which I think is rampant in our society and has taken hold of the church as well. The concept is that our actions have no real consequences. To say that God loves us unconditionally, to me, gives the idea that if God loves us it does not matter what we do. His love has no conditions to place on us. Now before you start to think that I am saying that God does not really love us stop! Consider this, what father, if he loves his son does not want his son to grow up to be a man of honor? What mother wants her daughter to grow up to a life of abuse and brokeness due to her own choices? The point is that true love is never unconditional because the one who loves wants the best for the one they love. It would not be enough to have loved our children immensely and never guide them to make right choices.


The reality that I believe people are seeking to say when they use the word unconditional love is really best expressed in the Biblical term "unfailing love." Saying we place expectations on all those we truly love does not mean that we don't love them even when they fail those expectations. The father whose son chooses to go his own way and ends up in disgrace, if they truly love them, will love them even in their disgrace. The mother who truly loves her daughter will continue loving her even if she ends up in the worst places her nightmares ever took her. Loving our children cannot fully undo the consequences that come as a result of their wrong actions.


Unfailing love means that love never ends. It never gives up on us no matter how far we have strayed from its desire for us. This is the love that God felt when He sent Jesus to the world. this is the love that Jesus felt for the Father and for His lost creation as he gave his life up to redeem it. This is the love that we are to allow to flow through us from Him to the world He loves.


As I meditated on these thoughts I suddenly remembered a friendship that had gone wrong many years ago. He fancied himself to be a prophet. I saw his prophecies were not only flawed by their lack of fulfillment but also in their intention to manipulate others.

I would still say that my discernment on this level was true. A doctor cannot help his or her patient unless they make an accurate assessment of their illness. To say that we are judging when we see the reality of a person's need of transformation is incorrect. But I must also say that I did not stop at discernment. I often tell my prophetic friends, "do not presume to correct someone until you have wept for them." I mean by this that we must rid ourselves of animosity and self righteousness to the point where it deeply breaks our heart to see another overtaken in a fault. Scripture tells us this in saying,

"Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted." Galatians 6:1


The truth is that I did not have this kind of heart in those days. I was just a Christian, over forty years ago, and was pretty much full of myself. I had started our friendship with a real love for him but one day in a moment of anger he told me he was a man of God and I was not and that he wanted nothing to do with me again. I did leave him alone but not in my heart. I placed him firmly in my prison of unforgiveness.


It was amazing how easy it was for me to see his faults and warn others of the disaster they would face if they associated with him. I never thought for a moment that what I was doing displeased God. Eventually he ended up in a psychiatric hospital. Part of what he felt was his road to healing was to ask my forgiveness and to admit that I had been right in my seeking to correct him. He did so and I gallantly forgave him. Still I had no understanding that I had failed him or God in any way. I did not resume a relationship with him and he struggled but finally came to a place of healing and is in very effective full time ministry today.


It was years later that I came to understand that I could have helped him much more than I did. I see today that what was lacking in my heart was not truth - I was correct in my thoughts about what he was doing and I was even correct in seeking to lead him away from his fault. The word that I gave him from the Word was faithful to help him even when I was not. What was missing was unfailing love. When he rejected me I quietly responded in kind. Today I grieved once more that I did not overlook his rejection and stayed firm in my resolve to help him. I did not need to be quiet. I needed to keep loving him when he reacted to the discipline of God. Sadly I have seen this characteristic in my life expressed more than once.


Perhaps the most tragic part of the whole thing is that I know I could have helped so many much more than I have if I had settled in my heart that if I did not feel kindness - God's unfailing love - towards others that I would pray until I had it deeply rooted for them.


Again I see this principle of truth meeting mercy. How vital that we understand it. How vital that we live it. I would be a coward to let my friend go off the cliff and say nothing to him because I did not want to "offend" him. I am worse than a coward if when he tells me to keep my mouth shut that I give up on him. I don't need to fight or flee. I need to stand. That means I speak the truth in love. Truth and mercy must kiss. And when they do unfailing love is the result.


Jesus never gave up on me, nor will he ever do so. He has disciplined me almost to the point of death to keep my soul from perishing eternally and I love him for it. But when I rejected him in the midst of this vital discipline he did not reject me. His unfailing love never ends.