NO STRINGS ATTACHED

The life of a Christian is based on giving. Perhaps the most important communication of the Bible centres on the greatest act of giving in history:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
John 3:1

Giving like this is not something we expect in this world. It seems almost too good to be true. But it is true. The God of the heavens gave Jesus for us. From the moment humans alienated themselves from His nature His plan was to once again grant the possibility of come back into full relationship with Him. This was accomplished by Him giving….. giving His own Son – Jesus – for us.

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.7 For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die.8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:6-8

But in the real world I find that when one person gives so massively to another what can happen is the person receiving can become selfish…..
It seems counterintuitive that it should be so. Our modern way of looking at the world strongly, if not dogmatically, says that when we are generous with others they become generous. There is a kind of genius to this logic. But unfortunately history does not bear it out. What often, almost always, happens is when one person is extraordinarily generous with someone the other person often becomes unthankful for what they are so freely receiving.

We find that God often tells us He does not need anything from us.

"I shall take no young bull out of your house Nor male goats out of your folds. 10 "For every beast of the forest is Mine, The cattle on a thousand hills. 11 "I know every bird of the mountains, And everything that moves in the field is Mine. 12 "If I were hungry I would not tell you, For the world is Mine, and all it contains. 13 "Shall I eat the flesh of bulls Or drink the blood of male goats. 14 "Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving And pay your vows to the Most High;

Psalm 50:9-14

Yet He askes us to give to Him throughout the Bible.

It is clear that God's asking us to give to Him is for another reason than something He needs.

I believe the reasons God asks us to give to Him are the same reasons we as parents need to ask our children to give to us.

They are the same reasons why spouses need to give to each other.

They are why friends need to give to each other.

They are the reasons why employee – employer relationships need to be based on mutual giving.

They are even why nations need to share their commerce with each other in an equal way.

The first reason God requires of us to give to Him is to make us like Him.

I really did not understand this principle until several of my seven children were grown. It came like a bolt of lightning one day as my wife was sharing with me that one of the children could not bother getting anyone a present for Christmas. We had always been extremely generous with our children at Christmas time. They had all been given to as much as we were financially able. So why was it that most of them were not very generous in their gift giving in return? I realized that this was not only the case with our children but with many other children of very generous families.

I also thought of some of the adults I knew that were extremely generous but had spouses or friends who were not reciprocal in that generosity. As I considered this I clearly saw that some of the most selfish people I knew were in a relationship where the other was giving very generously to them.

It occurred to me that I thought people would learn generosity from others being generous to them. That day I realized they did not. That realization brought me into a clear understanding of why God requires, actually commands, us to give to Him.

While I could say it was a eureka moment, it was really more of a DUH moment. I mean anyone who has a little common sense knows the only way anyone ever learns is by doing something. We never learn anything by just having someone tell us to do it. We never learn when others do what we are supposed to learn for or to us. We learn when we do what we are supposed to learn ourselves. We get better at it the more we practice it.

For instance every year as a kindergarten teacher I struggle with a simple task I want the children to learn….. to tie their shoes. Having to tie twenty to thirty shoes every recess and before going home can take up a considerable amount of time. For this reason almost as soon as they show up in class my objective is to get my students to tie their shoes by themselves.

I imagine you know that they will never learn as long as I tie them for them. I can point out on a chart the pattern they have to follow to get it done. I can personally demonstrate the process by doing it for them. Don’t misunderstand, both of these things are important to start them down the road of shoe tying. But ultimately they will never learn to tie them unless they do it themselves!

So there was my DUH moment. Generous parents don’t raise generous children unless they teach them to give and make many opportunities for them to do so. In fact if they do not require their children to give to others and even to their parents they will be spoiled by the generosity of the parents.

This is the same with God.

God is the ultimate giver. But He is also very wise. He knows the way we will learn to be a giver like Him will be to see His generosity and then require us to be the same way.

He knows this simple truth:

Acts 20:35 "In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Why is it more blessed to give than receive? Because in doing so we actually learn to be givers and thus become like God.

A second reason is very close to and grows out of the first. God asks us to give to Him to build a relationship that is healthy with Him and with each other.

Sadly I have noticed that most human relationships are not equal in this area. What tends to happen is one of the members of the relationship gives far more than the other. It seems that relationships tend to gravitate to this end very naturally. One ends up primarily a giver. The other ends up primarily a taker. The one with the least commitment to the relationship is always the taker.

Everyone who is reading this blog will most likely say they are the giver but are you really? Ask God to reveal to you the truth. An unequal relationship in this area is not healthy for either partners.

Of course the most important relationship we have is with God. When we are not givers to God the relationship with Him becomes one sided and extremely shallow.

From this we also understand that in our human relationships we give to demonstrate God’s love for them and to build relationships that are mutual and healthy with them:

The remedy for one sided relationships is for the giver and the taker to learn how God wants them to give.

The giver may have to step back from being the primary giver. In fact they may need to start asking the other to give to them. Certainly they will need to ask God first before they give to know that it is what He wants them to do.

The taker needs to learn to not be selfish and to give to the other as God desires. Both need to practice their giving as primarily directed towards God..... to give with no strings attached.

That last sentence is so vital. No strings attached. God does not give to us for any reason other than He loves us. He even gives to His enemies. He expects us to do the same.

Luke 6:35 "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil {men.}

Why? So matter who we give to our giving can be an act of love first to God and then to the ones to whom we are giving. When we give to receive we set ourselves up for bitterness if the person does not respond. We also will give too much. When we give to others if we are giving to God first we will be freed from the strings of expectation. Though we are placing those strings on others they end up binding us. When we give to God we are giving without expectation:

"So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.

"But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees {what is done} in secret will reward you. Matt 6:2-4

I am always seeking how we can bring our lives in line with the reality in which the bible says we are to live in. Ultimately that reality is to be like God in our character, attitude and heart.

Here is a very clear and practical way the Bible says we can do that – by giving to God and others. Not to get anything back and not to impress anyone with anything except the wonderful reality of the God who first gave to us.