Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8
I wrote in my last post about the sowing and reaping principle in our communication. I have found as I communicate out of the three roots of sin - Lust of the Flesh (self pity, fear and seeking self pleasure) - Lust of the Eyes (covetousness, jealousy and competition) - Pride of Life (self aggrandisement, self will, using and controlling others for my own power) I plant in them the same seeds which if they do not uproot will grow the same bad fruit that it has in my life.
However I have found that if I communicate in the opposite Spirit birthed roots - Thanksgiving (defeats the lust of the flesh) - Contentment (defeats the lust of the eyes) and humility (defeats the pride of life) I also plant in others those same seeds which, if they do not uproot will grow the same good fruit that is has in my life.
Today I was meditating on the area of communicating blessing.
Blessing others through thanksgiving and praise is a powerful weapon against all kinds of deadly attacks against our soul and the souls of every person we contact.
As a teacher I work with young children all day long. It is a wonderful place to see how this principle works.
The first aspect I see is we set an image of others in our minds and instill an image of them in their minds through our words.
When we speak death giving words of criticism, shame, condemnation or discouragement we diminish the value of the person we speak about in our own heart and, unless they are very strong in their own identity, their heart as well.
When we speak life giving words of blessing through thanksgiving and praise we uphold God's value of them in our own hearts and more importantly theirs.
I can hear someone saying they find nothing to bless, be thankful for or to praise in certain people in their lives.
Usually when we are confronted with this message our minds feel the need to defend our death giving communication. It is a fortress we run to for safety. But it does not really protect us and it always harms others.
The person we most feel we can find nothing in to bless, thank or praise is usually the one whose words and actions we are most vulnerable.
Following the principle of sowing and reaping they most likely are the one that has sown the most pain through their words of cursing, ingratitude or discouragement into our lives.
Most of the time it is a parent. Usually a father. Often it is our spouse. Sometimes it is a child who has gone astray and blamed us for it. It can be a boss, co-worker or any number of people who we find difficult to bear from their death giving words.
So why would we ever bless, thank or praise a person like that?
Because just as their words have had such a devastating effect in our lives our words can have a life giving effect on them. If they will let them, our Spirit breathed, life giving words can begin to break the power of the death in their soul out of which their death giving words come.
It also changes our soul.
I have found, like forgiveness, the ability to sincerely bless, thank and praise someone who has harmed us by their words or actions actually sets us free from those words and actions.
I live in an area where dandelions grow in abundance. Every spring my wife regularly spends a significant part of her gardening time pulling them up from our yard. Some people must think they are pretty since they do nothing about them which like the principle we are discussing, leaves them to infest my yard as well.....
One thing I have noticed is that beyond the direct attack against the weed by pulling them up, growing strong thick grass makes them much less likely to take root. Where they grow the most is where the grass is thin and unhealthy.
I have found this applies in my life as well. I find that I can root out the weeds that have been planted in my life by others by forgiveness. I find that I grow the life giving plants that keep the weeds from developing a foothold by blessing, thankfulness and praise.
I also find my heart is changed in its view of another person by my blessing them, being thankful for them or praising them for the good I find in their lives or if I cannot find it for the good that God sees in them that is yet unrealised. I get a bigger picture of them which is not so me centered.
I tend to paint the picture of that other person on the basis of the pain, shame, worthlessness and so on I have felt they have sown into my life.
When I begin to purposefully look for praiseworthy things about them I begin to be freed from my own self-centeredness and begin to see them in another light. I then can begin to sow good seed into their lives which can help them move away from their wrong communication if they will let it.
The farmer first digs up the weeds - that is forgiveness. Then he plants the good seed - that is blessing.
In this case I am the farmer and my field is my own soul and the other person's soul.
Again I hear someone say, "If I bless them they will act worse and hurt me more."
It is a strange thing about our understanding of this. It does seems counter to all reason to bless someone who is not blessing you, to be thankful for someone who is not thankful for you, to praise someone who is not praising you, or to encourage someone who is not encouraging you. Yet Jesus said to do it.
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
Matthew 5:43-45 (KJV)
Why on earth would I bless a person who wants to harm me?
It says clearly in the passage.... So I can be like God. So I can share in His nature of loving those that hate him, blessing those that curse him and doing good to those that despitefully use and persecute him. And what is his purpose in sending sun and rain to those who would gladly destroy him if they could? To give them another opportunity to also grow to love him and be transformed into his likeness as well.
So here is the secret of our communicating blessing when we are cursed. It is the very practical way we ourselves find transformation and it also gives a moment of possibility of the other person being transformed if they will let the seed we plant in them grow.
I see this principle happening every day in my work.
Yesterday as I began my day I went an whispered something in the ear of one of my children.
I work with special needs kids whose difficulty range from a significant learning disability to major physical impairment. Almost all of them have great difficulty in their behaviour.
To see them flourish never occurs by responding to their behaviour in an angry or frustrated way. Nor do they thrive with permissiveness.
I have found I must build a strong foundation of confidence in them before I can help them overcome their negative behaviour.
So yesterday I did for my little friend what I do every day when I first see him. I whispered to him, "I am so glad to see you today. I know we are going to have a wonderful day together. You are going to work so hard and do your best today aren't you? He always answers yes now though when I first said it he would say no. Finally I tell him how proud I was of something he did the day before.
This little interaction does not communicate permissiveness but it does communicate value, hope and high expectation.
I have seen a remarkable change come over him when he is with me.
Perhaps as important is the change I see it brings in me toward him. As I speak those things to him I also am being changed. I find I no longer view him as a potential problem. I find I see him like God sees him. Infinitely valuable with a life full of purpose and promise. God gave his own son Jesus to demonstrate that value.
By this daily act of blessing him I find that my responses toward his behaviour are more out of a desire to fulfill his destiny and not to save myself from problems. It builds the heart of God in my heart. His success or failure is no longer an isolated thing. His success is central to my destiny as well. I was created to be a channel for God to bless him.
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