Being a Godly Friend - Open Door Christian Fellowship February 17, 2011

I spoke to our young people today on being friendly. Here is the biblical foundation of what I shared. I find it so helpful to simply look at what the bible teaches about friendship. These scriptures always leave me wanting to be a better friend and show me the way to do so. Blessings, Leonard

QUALITIES OF A GOOD FRIEND

THEY FEAR GOD:

Psalm 119:63 I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts.

THEY ARE GOD'S FRIEND:

John 15:14 You are my friends if you do what I command.

James 2:23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend.

THEY LOVE GOD'S PEOPLE AND MINSTER TO THEM UNSELFISHLY:

3 John 1:5 Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you.

THEY LAY DOWN THEIR LIVES FOR THEIR FRIENDS:

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

THEY LOVE TO SHARE ABOUT THE THINGS OF GOD WITH THEIR FRIENDS:

Jude 1:3 Dear friends, although I was very eager to write to you about the salvation we share, I felt I had to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.

THE BEST FRIENDS ARE PURE-HEARTED AND GRACIOUS IN SPEECH:

Proverbs 22:11 He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.

THEY ARE CAREFUL IN THEIR CHOICE OF FRIENDS:

Proverbs 12:26 A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

THEY ARE NOT HOT TEMPERED:

Proverbs 22:24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered,

THEY ARE CONSISTENT IN THEIR LOVE OF THEIR FRIENDS:

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

THEY DESIRE TO HAVE FELLOWSHIP WITH THEIR FRIENDS:

3 John 1:14 I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name.

Psalm 55:13 But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, 14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.

THEY MAKE COMMITMENTS THEY WILL KEEP WITH THEIR FRIENDS:

1 Samuel 20:42 Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD...

THEY SHARE THEIR LIVES IN AN INTIMATE WAY WITH THEIR FRIENDS:

Exodus 33:11 The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.

John 15:15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

THEY GIVE WISE COUNSEL TO THEIR FRIENDS:

Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

THEY WILL WOUND THEIR FRIENDS FOR LOVE'S (PHILEO) SAKE:

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

THEY WARN THEIR FRIENDS TO FLEE FROM SIN:

1 Corinthians 10:14 Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry.

THEY ENCOURAGE THEIR FRIENDS TO LIVE IN HOLINESS:

2 Corinthians 7:1 Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

THEY REJOICE WITH THEIR FRIENDS IN THEIR REJOICING:

Luke 15:4 "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, `Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' ...8 "Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? 9 And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, `Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.'

THEY STAND WITH THEIR FRIENDS IN TIMES OF ADVERSITY:

Proverbs 27:10 Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you-- better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

Job 6:14 "A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends....

THEY HAVE PITY ON THEIR FRIENDS:

Job 19:21 "Have pity on me, my friends, have pity, for the hand of God has struck me.

THEY WILL WEEP WITH THEIR FRIENDS:

Judges 11:37 But grant me this one request," she said. "Give me two months to roam the hills and weep with my friends, because I will never marry."

THEY KEEP SECRETS ABOUT THEIR FRIENDS REVEALED CHARACTER FLAWS:

Proverbs 17:9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

THEY INTERCEED FOR THEIR FRIEND

Job 16:20 My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; 21 on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.

Job 42:10 After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.

3 John 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.

THEY DO NOT RESPOND TO THE GOOD THEIR FRIENDS SHARE WITH EVIL:

Psalm 109:5 They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship. (negative example)

THEY DO NOT RECEIVE OR SPEAK EVIL GOSSIP CONCERNING THEIR FRIEND:

Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

THEY DO NOT MAKE FALSE ACCUSATIONS:

2 Samuel 3:8 Abner was very angry because of what Ish-Bosheth said and he answered, "Am I a dog's head--on Judah's side? This very day I am loyal to the house of your father Saul and to his family and friends. I haven't handed you over to David. Yet now you accuse me of an offense involving this woman!

THEY RESPOND IN LOVE (AGAPE) TO THOSE WHO FAIL THEM IN FRIENDSHIP:

Psalm 109:4 In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer. (negative example)

THEY RESPOND TO NEEDS OF THOSE BEYOND THEIR CIRCLE OF FRIENDSHIP WITHOUT THOUGHT OF PERSONAL GAIN:

Luke 14:12 Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13 But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." 15 When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, "Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God."

THEY DO NOT MAKE FRIENDS FOR THE SAKE OF MONEY OR WHAT THEY MAY RECIEVE IN THE FRIENDSHIP MATERIALLY:

Proverbs 19:4 Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him... 6 Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of a man who gives gifts. 7 A poor man is shunned by all his relatives-- how much more do his friends avoid him! Though he pursues them with pleading, they are nowhere to be found.

THEY TAKE CARE OF THEIR FRIEND'S NEEDS:

Acts 24:23 He ordered the centurion to keep Paul under guard but to give him some freedom and permit his friends to take care of his needs.

Acts 27:3 The next day we landed at Sidon; and Julius, in kindness to Paul, allowed him to go to his friends so they might provide for his needs.

THEY SEEK TO EXTEND THEIR FRIENDSHIP TO THEIR FRIEND'S CHILDREN:

1 Kings 5:1 When Hiram king of Tyre heard that Solomon had been anointed king to succeed his father David, he sent his envoys to Solomon, because he had always been on friendly terms with David.

Job 29:4 Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God's intimate friendship blessed my house,

THEY SEEK THEIR FRIEND'S ADVANCEMENT AS WELL AS THEIR OWN:

Daniel 2:49 Moreover, at Daniel's request the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego administrators over the province of Babylon, while Daniel himself remained at the royal court.

THEY SEEK THEIR FRIEND'S HELP:

- IN WEAKNESS:

Ecclesiastes 4:10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

- IN NEED

Ecclesiastes 4:11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

- IN DEFENCE

Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

 - IN SPIRITUAL REVELATION

Daniel 2:14 When Arioch, the commander of the king's guard, had gone out to put to death the wise men of Babylon, Daniel spoke to him with wisdom and tact. 15 He asked the king's officer, "Why did the king issue such a harsh decree?" Arioch then explained the matter to Daniel. 16 At this, Daniel went in to the king and asked for time, so that he might interpret the dream for him. 17 Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. 18 He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon.

THEY DO NOT FEAR WHAT OTHERS THINK IF THEY ARE FRIENDS WITH YOU:

Luke 7:34 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, `Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners." ' 35 But wisdom is proved right by all her children." 36 Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37 When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38 and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. 39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is--that she is a sinner."

The Lake of Fire - Preached at Open Door Christian Fellowship Feb 6, 2011

The First Vision Gehenna the Lake of Fire

"Now there was a rich man, and he habitually dressed in purple and fine linen, joyously living in splendor every day. 20 "And a poor man named Lazarus was laid at his gate, covered with sores, 21 and longing to be fed with the crumbs which were falling from the rich man's table; besides, even the dogs were coming and licking his sores.22 "Now the poor man died and was carried away by the angels to Abraham's bosom; and the rich man also died and was buried. 23 "In Hades he lifted up his eyes, being in torment, and saw Abraham far away and Lazarus in his bosom. 22 "And he cried out and said, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus so that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool off my tongue, for I am in agony in this flame.' 23 "But Abraham said, 'Child, remember that during your life you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus bad things; but now he is being comforted here, and you are in agony. 26 'And besides all this, between us and you there is a great chasm fixed, so that those who wish to come over from here to you will not be able, and that none may cross over from there to us.' Luke 16:19-26 


And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. 15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
Revelation 20:14-15

And the third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive [his] mark in his forehead, or in his hand, 10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation;
Revelation 14:9-10

and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: 11 And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.
Revelation 14:10b-11

The Bible speaks of two destinations for those who have died separated from God. In English we use the same word for both - Hell


Hades is the name used for the place that the rich man was. It was a place that all the dead went and it had two states. One was paradise. The other was torment. We are told that they are separated by an impassable barrier. There is some communication between the two because Abraham spoke with the Rich man.


Hades is a temporary place the dead reside until the final judgment.

Jesus went to Hades after he died. He went to Paradise.


And he was saying, "Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!" 43 And He said to him, "Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise."
Luke 23:42-43

But he also visited the place of those who were separated from God.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; 19 in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison, 20 who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark . . . 1 Peter 3:18-21

The final resting place for those who are separated from God by unredeemed sin is what Jesus called Gehenna.

In the book of Revelation it is spoken of in the passages we read as the "lake of fire."

It is crucial to understand that the concept of Gehenna did not actually come into being until Jesus. He was the one who taught there would be permanent, eternal consequences to rejecting the mercy God offered through him.

"But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing,' shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, 'You fool,' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell (Gehenna).
Matthew 5:22

"If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. (Gehenna).
Matthew 5:29, 18:9 & Mark 9:45

"If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell. (Gehenna).
Matthew 5:30

"If your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life lame, than, having your two feet, to be cast into hell (Gehenna)
Mark 9:45

"Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. (Gehenna).
Matthew 10:28 & Luke 12:5

You serpents, you brood of vipers, how will you escape the sentence of hell? (Gehenna)
Matthew 23:33

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte; and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell (Gehenna) as yourselves.
Matthew 23:15

I see that often the doctrine of hell is used to vent hostility towards others who are believed to be in a different place concerning the love of God.

I once used it that way. I would go out on the streets to witness to people about Jesus' love. Invariably I would tell them if they did not receive Him they would suffer eternally for it.

And that is exactly true. If we do not respond to this great call of mercy to be reconciled to God we will remain separated from God for all eternity and that is Hell - Gehenna.

But as I shared this horrible truth my heart was proud. I was not a man desperate to see people taken from that place. In my insecurity I wanted people to respond to my message.

One night God told me to never come out again to witness until I could talk to every person that I met like I would speak to my mother.

I understood what He told me that night perfectly. It was not the doctrine of Hell that was the problem, it was my heart.

Jesus warned of Gehenna because it was a real place that people would end if they did not listen. Not out of a proud self righteousness or to denounce others but out of love.

On May 9,1980 in the early morning fog the Sunshine Skyway Bridge in Florida was crashed into by the ship Summit Venture. This ship toppled half of it causing rush hour traffic to plunge suddenly into the Gulf of Mexico.

A bus driver was unable to see the end of the bridge and drove off the bridge into the sea. Six other cars did the same. Thirty-five people were instantly killed but one driver clung in a death-defying balance on the edge of the boat his truck had fallen onto and survived.

Another car having seen that the top of the bridge was gone slammed on his brakes and stopped 14 inches short of the edge. The passengers got out of the car and desperately sought to stop traffic.

The Pilot of the boat, Capt. Lerro had only one thing on his mind in the seconds after the crash. He screamed over the radio to the coast guard:

"Lerro: Get emergency . . . all the emergency equipment out to the Skyway bridge. Vessel has just hit the Skyway bridge. The Skyway bridge is down! Get all emergency equipment out to the Skyway bridge. The Skyway bridge is down. This is Mayday. Emergency situation. Stop the traffic on that Skyway bridge!"

Captain Lerro had the heart that Jesus has about warning people of the disaster ahead if they do not turn from the path they are on.

Gehenna is separation from God and all that is good.

In Jesus' day Gehenna was the city dump of Jerusalem.

It got its name from the Hebrew words Gai Hinnom - The Valley of Hinnom. Aramacized to Gehenna.

Because of the wickedness practiced in the Valley of Hinnom it became a desecrated parcel of land that became Jerusalem's garbage dump.

At night the continual fires of spontaneous combustion lit the whole area. By day maggots and worms openly ate the refuse. This was the symbol Jesus used for the final condition and resting place for those who refused to turn (repent) from sin and turn to Him.

"If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life crippled, than, having your two hands, to go into hell, into the unquenchable fire, 44[where THEIR WORM DOES NOT DIE, AND THE FIRE IS NOT QUENCHED.] 45"If your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life lame, than, having your two feet, to be cast into hell, 46[where THEIR WORM DOES NOT DIE, AND THE FIRE IS NOT QUENCHED.] Mark 9:43-46

The acts which so defiled this place were not God's desire:

"They have built the high places of Topheth, which is in the valley of the son of Hinnom, to burn their sons and their daughters in the fire, which I did not command, and it did not come into My mind.
Jeremiah 7:31

Now let your faith that the scriptures are the Word of the Living God and can be trusted fully take hold of your mind right now and see what they tell us. God did not desire for people to put their precious children on to the altars of Baal they erected in the Valley of Hinnom.

He did not desire for them to burn them while still alive in a demonic sacrifice to a god that was murderous. Their hearts were so calloused by their deception that they could not have compassion on the most innocent and helpless beings on earth..... their own children.

The Bible says this horror did not even come into His mind. It was not an act of His sovereignty. It was not something He stood by and did nothing about. It was the act of a depraved humanity that rebelled against His will and brought about actions which He hates.

It will be this image that we need to understand if we are to understand the wrath of God. He loved every single little child that was sacrificed on the Altar of Baal erected in Gai Hinnom.

Every soul that has lived bears a potential of this horror inside of themselves no matter how much we look on the outside. It is the horror of sin that separates us from the only source of life - God.

When our first parents turned from God they were separated from Him. This is death.

but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.³
Genesis 2:17

If we do not turn to Him to receive the mercy He purchased with His life’s blood we will remain separated from Him forever.

Eternally Alone

If however we turn from following our own ways and turn to Jesus we will never be alone.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you.´
Hebrews 13:5

Humans are created for relationship:

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18

Of all creation God said, "It is good" except the man He created being alone.

This is not just about a man and woman.

It is not primarily about the need for romantic intimacy.

It is about the deepest need of the human heart.

To be in relationship.

To not be alone

We are created for relationship.

God created us with the need of Him and each other.

Perhaps one of the most horrible experiences of life is to be alone.

Loneliness can hurt so deeply that it can scar us for life.

When we do not understand God’s love for us we can be driven to doing anything to keep someone in our life.

The list of activities that grow out of this deepest need is so long it would take weeks to discuss them.

But the foundation of all of them is met in Jesus first and then in loving those who He calls us to love.

No matter how few or many people we have in our lives that love us He always does.

Even when our parents are gone or do not love us He is there.

Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.
Psalm 27:10

Even if the dearest friend we have ever had fails in their love for us He will not.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you.´
Hebrews 13:5

The heart of the gospel message is the love of God shown on a cross.

The primary reason for the cross is found in the passage we read from John 15:

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

Having spent time on earth giving away his life he completed the giving by dying for his friends - including you and me.

This is the mystery of fulfillment that the world has no conception of.

Jesus who gave the most of Himself was the least alone person in the world.

The one who selfishly looks out only for his own interests and takes for himself without giving back to God and others grows more and more isolated.

It is actually very simple to see and understand yet it leaves many totally baffled.

So the mystery of belonging is unveiled.

When I selfishly take for myself from others I end up further and further into the place of aloneness and alienation.

When I give my life for Jesus and others I grow deeper and deeper into His love that cannot be measured.

I believe aloneness is the essence of Gehenna - The Lake of Fire - Hell.

A place where the eternal part of the human who has never allowed itself to be given back to God spends in an eternal separation from God and others.

A place that will be fully revealed in the end of time but is seen and felt in every act of selfishness and unkindness.

A place of Eternal Aloneness

I first came to understand this when I was just beginning my relationship with the Lord.

I was going through a time of deep humbling in my life in facing what I had done before and after I had found Jesus.

I knew so well the reality of sin and felt keenly that it needed to be radically removed from my life.

I had not yet found the power to overcome some of the terribly ingrained habits that had been imprinted on my life before receiving Jesus.

For several weeks I was asking God to help me hate sin.

Night after night I prayed for hours that God would free me from the evil in my heart. Night after night I grew more convinced that I could not just will it away.

My friends at the church I attended cautioned me that I was getting too concerned about this. ³After all,´ they said, ³your sins are forgiven.´ But the cry of my heart was not that my sins would just be forgiven but that I would truly change.

One night as I went to pray again I pressed into God with all my heart. Suddenly it was as if I was taken into a very dark room. It seemed like the darkness fell over my whole being. Then I saw what seemed like fire that began to spread across the whole of my vision.

As it came more focused it was a lake of fire. I began to panic. My whole body began to shake and I felt fear like I had only once before had known. I was paralyzed in its grip. The inferno seemed white hot and raging like no fire on earth that I have ever seen.

It was as if I was moving along just above the surface of it but nothing was visible except the fire so I could not really know which way I was traveling.

At the edge of my vision in front of me I saw a figure in the fire. I began to look carefully and the figure became clear.

To my horror I saw myself crying in torment. I was screaming so hard yet no one came to help. I realized that in spite of the great heat I was not burning up. I watched in sheer terror for what seemed to be a long time.

To my horror I saw myself crying in torment. I was screaming so hard yet no one came to help. I realized that in spite of the great heat I was not burning up. I watched in sheer terror for what seemed to be a long time.

With each moment the absolute finality of my fate gripped my soul with unimaginable fear.

I had joked with my friends before being saved that I was wanting to go to hell since that was where all my friends were going to be.

Yet in this vast lake of fire I was alone.

I had flippantly said that hell would be where the party was but there was no laughter here.

Screaming out in absolute pain I knew there would be no relief for me.

No one would bring a sip of water to cool my tongue. There would be no sleep to hide from the terrible flames.

Eternal wakefulness and eternal torment. Day and night forever. No one to help me. No one to take pity on me. Eternal aloneness.

When I thought I could stand no more but would dissolve into the lake of fire myself the vision ceased.

I lay on the floor weeping. Then the voice of Jesus spoke, "This is what I saved you from."


The Powerpoint of this Teaching follows:
Gehenna - The Lake of Fire - Preached at Open Door Christian Fellowship February 6, 2011